Lessons in Pure Life Page 5

  The rest of the ride flies by, literally and figuratively. I’m not thinking so much as absorbing all this new information. My mind is humming as fast as my chariot. If I was at home I’d be, I don’t know, taking the bus to get groceries and worrying about running into Carter. Seems like two completely separate lives. This new one is a lot more interesting, even if it’s jarringly unpredictable. Last year I could never have seen myself zooming around, swiping documents with a hired muscle like I’m Catwoman. A giggle sneaks out, and I hope he doesn’t notice because I wouldn’t know how to explain my fantasy, the growing thrill of this never-in-my-life experience. Girl, Catwoman-ing.

  When he drops me off at the main gate, I dismount as gracefully as I can and hand him the helmet. He nods curtly, eyeing the fleece I’m still wearing. I hand him the envelope and pull the sweater over my head, folding it into a bundle and returning it. My dress is all askew again, and I just want to stop this skin show and go home.

  He gives me the envelope back and then pulls the fleece over his own head. I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything.

  “Buenas noches,” he says, the curt nod becoming his signature move.

  I respond in kind, but he’s already taken off and won’t hear me over the roar of the engine. I’m left standing in the residence entrance at dusk, my hair damp and curling. My spirit feels a little damp and curly too. It must be the post-adrenaline descent.

  Slowly, I wander back home, determined not to think about Diego any more today while another part of my brain is like Yeah, whatever. At least it’s a new life, a second chance. I’ll make do with the residual wisdom from my old ghost.

  It’s dark when I enter. On my own in rare quiet, I work quickly through the corrections for Genesis and tuck the finished draft in my bag for Monday. My head feels heavy, but I’m not tired yet.

  Later, when I can’t sleep, I light some Nag Champa incense and sit by the night window, inhaling the exotic, smoky aroma. A green seed of loneliness germinates in my chest, and I linger in it. It’s been an emotional day. Let it go, says yoga Wendy and Frozen princesses and women everywhere. Those three words ask so much.

  The stars are out, brighter and more plentiful than they are back home. I’ve even seen a few shoot by, but I can’t think of a wish to make. I don’t want it to be sappy and boy-crazy, wasted energy on empty lust. Still, I imagine Diego riding alone, smelling the rain before it falls. Maybe he smells me, too: a perfume of sunscreen on his sleeve, a tiny smear of strawberry lip balm on his collar. As this thought passes through my consciousness, a bright spark trails across the velvety sky. I make a nice, safe wish for a peaceful sleep, and eventually it comes.

  5

  “So, what’s going on with Jose?” I ask, grinning amid crunches of nacho chip. We’re sunburned and tired from catamaraning all afternoon. My stomach growls for a big Saturday night dinner.

  Katherine flinches when I say his name, but she doesn’t look up from the garlic she’s chopping on the kitchen counter. A red apron hangs loosely from her small frame, one I recognize as a Korean travel souvenir. It’s printed with a message in classic ESL English, grammatically incorrect but reading like accidental poetry. Confident, white lettering spells out “Be Full of Dream.”

  “What do you mean?” she asks lightly. I don’t buy it.

  “He’s pretty cute. Do you think he’d go out with me?” I keep a straight face for as long as I can and watch her reaction with amusement. She looks up, speechless.

  “I’m kidding!” I exclaim.

  “Oh!” She leans forward and laughs at how easily she’d believed me.

  “Don’t you like him?”

  “Oh, come on,” she shakes me off without answering the question, eyes on the food again.

  “I just thought you guys seemed friendly, is all.”

  “Well, he’s a colleague and friend.”

  “So why are you talking like that?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you’re all politically correct.”

  “I’m not…” she says unconvincingly. It’s a dead giveaway.

  “Youuu like him!” I sing at her, making a heart shape with my fingers.

  A smile breaks her poker face.

  “Well, he… we… Argh, never mind.”

  “Oh my god, there’s more, isn’t there?”

  “There isn’t.”

  I know her; she can’t keep it in much longer. I back off, grab a washcloth, and start wiping down the table. She rinses her hands and dries them thoughtfully, eyeing me.

  “Okay, so there’s a little more…”

  “I knew it!”

  Katherine laughs, rolls her eyes, and sighs, happiness seeping across her face now that it’s allowed out. She scrapes veggies from the cutting board into a red ceramic bowl, adding a few dollops of Lizano sauce. I remove plastic wrap from a container of diced avocado tossed in lemon juice.

  “What do you want me to do with these?”

  “Here,” she says to the avocados, and grabs a pretty little dish from the dishwasher that’s hanging open, dumping them in. Earlier today a worker had finally come in to fix the leaky appliance, and we’re pretty excited about it.

  “So, can I ask questions, or should I respectfully change the subject?” I venture, hoping it’s the former.

  “Well… I’m not supposed to tell anyone.”

  “Oh.”

  “Gaaahhh, fine! I’m in love, okay?”

  “What?!”

  “You heard me.” She laughs breathlessly, and I can see that she’s telling the truth. I recognize that look on her face because I’ve worn it before, that grin you can’t help, the joy bubbling up out of you because you’re in the land of Quenched Crush. You are requited.

  “Holy shit, Kat. You and Jose. That’s amazing!”

  “And the truth is, I’m dying to talk about it. I almost told you so many times.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, I really wanted to tell you the day you met Jose and Diego, but I stopped myself. We just don’t want anyone from work finding out, and I didn’t want to put you in the position of having to keep that secret. If it gets out, we just don’t know what will happen. I’m not risking my position.”

  “Wow.”

  “The annoying thing is, our students are everywhere we go. They’re like ants, all over the beach, at restaurants, in neighboring towns. And he’s got cousins, tios and tias. Even when we go up the coast I’m looking over my shoulder. I just want to go on a date with my boyfriend, you know? It’s been frustrating to keep secret.”

  “Wow,” I repeat, considering it all.

  “I hope you’re not hurt I didn’t tell you.”

  “Not at all, I totally get it. Besides, it’s between the two of you. How long have you been seeing him?”

  “About four months.”

  “Jeez, that’s a long time to keep a secret.”

  “No fucking kidding!”

  “I’m in shock, but the good kind. I’m trying to think of some private date activities. I mean, besides the obvious! But that being said, if you guys ever want the place to yourselves, just let me know. I seriously don’t mind getting out of your hair as long as I have somewhere to go.”

  “Thanks. I might take you up on your offer some time when you’re planning to go out anyway.”

  “Sure. I’m so excited for you!”

  “Me too! It’s weird to talk about it out loud, but so freeing. I have so many things to tell you!”

  “Well, lay it on me. You know I don’t have anything else to do. How did it all start?” I sit down at the counter and pour a glass of red wine like I’m settling in to watch my favorite telenovela.

  “We worked together so much getting this project off the ground, it seemed like we were spending all our time together. It’s weird, like, I didn’t notice him right away. I thought he was cute and I really liked his tattooed arms, but I just wasn’t looking for a guy.”

  “Really?”

  “
Genuinely. I really wanted to focus on my own development, without relying on a man to validate me, you know? Well, except Wayne Dyer. I’m addicted to his podcasts,” she divulges, snickering.

  “You want him. He’s your real secret boyfriend.”

  “Don’t tell Jose!” she laughs.

  Katherine has traveled all over the world on her own, and I admire her sense of independence. Even though she’s only a year older than me, in some ways she’s much more of an adult. This is my first time out on my own, and I wonder how much time I’ve spent thinking about my personal development. Actually, I’d say I think about my future a lot, but it’s so full of fear and worry. Katherine can just go out and do things. I tend to take the Hamlet route, analyzing and changing course, about to leap and then second-guessing myself like a dancer step-ball-changing.

  “What made you see him differently? Jose.”

  She’s thoughtful for a minute, looking down at her shiny, red nails. “His character just, like, unraveled in front of me. I didn’t care for the surf bum thing. But now that I know his personality, I see how it’s a part of him and his culture. He’s poetic, and true to himself. I just haven’t met many people like him. Like, I was looking for sunscreen in his bag during a field trip and found this notebook full of graffiti-style drawings that blew my mind, and he also had a copy of Hard Times. That’s what made him stand out.”

  “He reads Dickens?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That is unusual.”

  “And he meditates with his class, he taught me to surf…” she lists, grinning up at the ceiling like he’s looking down on her.

  “I had no idea.”

  “And he’s also into music. Listens to Vampire Weekend and stuff.” She’s really gushing now.

  “Well, if he knows Ezra Koenig…”

  She laughs. “See, you get it!”

  I hadn’t realized just how much was hiding below the surface there, but it’s a welcome surprise. Sometimes I get jealous of my girlfriends when they’re in relationships and I’m not – it sucks, it just happens – but this feels different. I’m sort of filled with joy, actually. I like Jose, despite his tendency to blurt things out awkwardly. He and Katherine sound like a great match. It kinda gives me faith in humanity.

  “Well, that sounds amazing. I’m so happy for you! This is so crazy. And of course I won’t say anything to anyone.”

  “Thanks.”

  “So are you just going to keep doing the secret thing for a while?”

  She sighs. “Yeah, I dunno. That’s the plan for now, but it’s so annoying not to be able to just hold hands or go out together in town. We haven’t been able to spend as much time together since class started, but we’ve had a few sneaky weekends away.”

  “Really? I hadn’t even noticed. You are sneaky. I mean, I definitely saw some sparks, but I wouldn’t have guessed you guys were actually dating. I doubt anyone else would suspect it if I didn’t.”

  “Yeah, I hope not. Jose wants to tell Diego, but I don’t know how I feel about that.”

  The thought of Diego and I sharing a secret piques my interest. And my body temperature. I change positions to get more comfortable.

  “Yeah. So, about Diego. What’s the deal there? Why didn’t you tell me about him?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. You mean because he’s, like, all model-y?”

  “He’s a fox and a half.”

  She grins and laughs carelessly. “Yeah, I guess. He’s so not my type, and we’ve never really bonded. I know him more through Jose than from actually conversing with him.”

  “He’s like a different species of human. A sexy aqua-man. I actually keep having physical reactions when he’s in the room.”

  “Really? Maybe you have a brain parasite.”

  I know it’s a joke, but I consider it. “Maybe.”

  “No, he’s definitely handsome. I dunno, he just isn’t on my radar. But I’ve been pretty distracted with my own love life. I find with Diego, it’s like, what’s going on in his head? You know?”

  “Yeah. He’s got mystique for days.”

  She laughs. “Exactly. So you like him?”

  “Well… no. I don’t know; how could anyone cope with liking a guy like him? He’s just very attractive, and I’ll have to deal with that.”

  “He just seems so brooding, like he’s always sorting out some super-complicated problem with multiple moving parts. Seems like too much trouble. But that’s just me.”

  “Diego’s giving me trouble all right,” I say, putting on a sassy-gal face and bobbing my head from side to side, thinking of his surf body.

  “Aww, yeaaah!” Katherine does her best sleazy-drunk-guy impression, and we enjoy an intermission of giggling. She hands me salad tongs and I put them on the table, clearing an unfinished lesson plan out of the way.

  “Genesis asked me to run an errand for her last week and she wound up sending Diego on his motorcycle. The whole trip took less than an hour, but it really stuck with me.”

  “Really? That doesn’t sound like Diego.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, like I said, I don’t know him very well, but it’s pretty obvious he hates doing little jobs for Genesis. She knows it, so unless he really owed her one, it’s super weird that he showed up. Then again, I wouldn’t waste time overanalyzing, because he’s really hard to read.” Her voice is muffled for a few seconds as she leans into the cupboard and takes a short stack of bowls out.

  “I know, it’s not worth it. He wasn’t exactly friendly, either. It’s like he’s trying to come off like an asshole,” I decide. “How could Genesis have a douchey brother? She’s so strong and smart.”

  “Crazier things,” she says, placing her glass on the table. The wine is staining the inside of her lips purple, and I guess mine must look the same.

  “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “He’s so intense,” she continues, placing our dinner on the table in various bowls.

  We decided to go vegetarian tonight, and I’m looking forward to cleansing my body a little bit with fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds. No more greasy fried chicken from the local take-out counter for me.

  “Jose knows him really well – they’re like brothers, so I’m sure Diego is a stand-up guy. They would, like, die for each other. But he’s hard around the edges – ha-ha – and not very expressive. Probably some baggage there you want to keep your eye out for. Dig in,” she finishes.

  “Looks delicious.” I scoop fresh guacamole onto my plate and add a handful of chips for dipping. The rest of my meal is the big greens-and-seed salad I’ve been craving. We added sliced watermelon, and it’s the crispest, juiciest fruit I have ever tasted. I mean that. You haven’t tasted tropical fruit until you’ve eaten it freshly picked. Bring it home, have some right away to quench your thirst (because you’re thirsty, always thirsty), and save at least a third for the freezer. When you find it again, frozen on top like a lake of tropical punch, savor it like it’s a bowl of ice cream.

  “So, you don’t know what his deal is?”

  Why am I trying to sound casual? There isn’t really anything to hide.

  “No, not really. I know he’s close with Genesis even though they bicker a lot. I’ve definitely seen him act like he’s all aloof but then actually support her when Mr. Valverde shows up to our monthly meetings. That’s probably a good sign, that he can have a relationship with his sister, right?”

  “Yeah. What’s Mr. Valverde like?”

  “Oh god,” she groans. “How can I describe him accurately? Picture a middle-aged Sean Connery with tilty lion eyes. Always looks irritated.”

  “No surprise there.” I can picture him exactly, like I’ve seen him before.

  “You can see where Diego and Genesis get their serious side when you meet him,” Katherine continues. “He’s scary. A bit like Big Boss from that eighties cartoon show C.O.P.S. Have you seen it?”

  “Oh yeah! I used to watch it on YouTube when I lived in re
s.”

  “He owned.”

  “Yeah. He had this New York gangster accent, right? Like ‘I’m Big Boshh, see?’”

  Katherine holds her hand over her mouth as she laughs. “Jeez, you’ve been practicing that one in front of the mirror, haven’t you?”

  “You’re just jealous.”

  She doesn’t answer but keeps chuckling to herself. The feeling of déjà vu flutters through me eerily.

  “Is Valverde close with Diego and Genesis?”

  “I think so, but he doesn’t come around much. You know that stone-cold look they can get sometimes?”

  “The only look I’ve ever seen on Diego’s face?”

  “Exactly. He passed that gene onto them. You probably haven’t seen it much on Genesis because she really likes you, which is crucial.”

  “She’s been amazing.”

  “I knew she would appreciate your style, but maybe if she hadn’t known me in advance she wouldn’t be so warm.”

  “Why?”

  She shrugs matter-of-factly. “Their family definitely has issues with foreigners: they don’t trust outsiders. You should have seen the interview process I had to go through when they opened the first cluster of schools in Guanacaste. I think I had four interviews before I was in.”

  “Really? For this job?” I take a big bite of salad. Crunches thunder in my head.

  “I know. I stuck it out because the salary was better than anywhere else I applied.”

  “Hmm. I wonder why she’s so cool with me?”

  “Genesis?” She pauses, dipping a chip in the guac.

  “Uh-huh.”

  Katherine makes an awkward face with gritted teeth and hides behind her wine glass. “I may have shared your story with her,” she says apologetically.

  “Ohhh. I get it. And Jose.”

  “And Jose. But it’s only because I knew I could work it to your advantage! Genesis has such a big heart, and she hates seeing women get pushed around. So I told her what happened with Carter. She really felt for you, Lia, and when I told her you were thinking of applying to teacher’s college, she was the one who suggested you join our new team here. It was obviously important to me to get good-quality, open-minded teachers who would work well on our team, so… basically it was destiny for you to be here.”